Home > Musings > What a Roller Coaster

What a Roller Coaster

I participate  in an online forum with other women who go to the same IVF clinic and doctor that I do.

It can be such a wonderful, supportive place.  Today I received a private message from one of the other women – she messaged to hope I was feeling less down than last week and also to share some photos with me as she’d had a look around the photos on my Flickr account when I posted the images of TasIVFs renovations.  A little thing like that just brightens my day so much.  And another woman who I’ve exchanged email addresses with emailed me the other day to let me vent about what was upsetting me.  It’s amazing how much care and warmth you can get from people you’ve never met before.  And understanding, especially from these women who are facing a lot of the same things I am.

However the forums also send me on such an emotional roller coaster.  I find it hard going through the ups and downs of treatment with them when I care about and can identify with them so much.  It’s like having lots of cycles at once.  Over the weekend it looked like 2 of the women were pregnant.  Now it turns out only one is, or might be – she’s doing another blood test as she has worrisome bleeding.  I just have tears pouring down my face as I’m at the same time so disappointed for the one and so happy for the other.  And of course this is all online – I don’t know what to say to either, which is hard when a look or a hug in real life could sum it all up so nicely.

Maybe it’s just the drugs, or maybe I’m just too emotional to go through all this with so many people.

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