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Forum Friend’s BFP

One of the women from the forum I frequent has a BFP.  I’m so happy for her – but why am I so stressed?  I’ve been living through the past few days almost as if it was me.  And now that she’s had 2 blood tests to confirm but is still having spotting, I’m even more stressed.  Why?  We’re not talking about someone I’ve ever met in person or done anything other than exchange a few messages with via electronic means.  She would have no idea how much her BFP means to me and how much I’ve been thinking of her.  (As well she shouldn’t; it’s a bit embarrassing.)

I guess it’s because I’ve become linked to all these people who understand the thoughts that lurk in the darkest recesses of my brain.  People who would understand the thoughts that my ‘real world’ friends wouldn’t begin to understand.  And people who I can relate to – I’ve been through some of this and want to be there again.  And I hope she doesn’t have to go through everything  that I went through.

I’m not entirely certain it’s a good thing to be feeling all this; I have enough stress with my own infertility.  But in some ways you don’t choose who you let into your heart; they’re just there.

Sorry – a very scattered post, but I have a very scrambled brain at present.

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