Home > Stim Cycle #14 > Trigger Happy

Trigger Happy

After 11 nights of having 4 injections per night, tonight is the trigger injection!  So that means only one injection – Ovidrel.  What a wonderful luxury.  I’m probably coming up to having given myself 300 injections since starting IVF/ICSI, and I can’t say it’s any easier or that I’m any better at it.  My tummy is full of bruises and red needle pricks.  It would all be worth it if it works. . .

I’m having trouble as OPU approaches to feel anything but panic.  It’s not the procedure I’m worried about per se but everything around it.  I’ve been fairly blasé about it all this cycle, but now I’m worried about how I’ll cope with my next BFN.  Maybe it’s the hormones or the stress or not being able to sleep or just the fact that this is the 5th August of my life I’ve spent doing IVF.  No longer do I just cruise through life making plans, carrying them to fruition, and trying to find my happy.  All the years of IVF have re-programmed my brain to the stress and disappointment of this masochistic hobby of mine.  I’m not ready to step away, but likewise I don’t know how I keep going.  I just do.

I’m a bushwalker; when the going gets tough, you just put one foot in front of the other until you get to your destination.  I wish my GPSr had the destination for this journey.  I wish I knew how far away it was and is which direction.

Zig Zag Track

  1. a
    25/08/2010 at 11:16 am

    I wish I had some directions to get you where you want to go. Good luck…

  2. 25/08/2010 at 11:46 am

    Hi tasivfer: I send all my best wishes your way, hoping that you reach your destination soon. It will be so worth it in the end, I admire your sense of determination and sometimes we don’t know what drive us to work so hard, we are just focused on the ultimate goal – and you will reach it, you will!

  3. 25/08/2010 at 12:14 pm

    The other difference is that when you’re geocaching, you get to enjoy the journey. Not really the case here. I think you should make plans to be good to yourself either way: whether you have good news or not. If it wouldn’t take so damn long to get there, I would send you a care package with my most decadent cupcakes. The path may wind, up ahead. But you *do* know what your destination is.

  4. 25/08/2010 at 5:32 pm

    Hi there,

    Good luck and I’m sending lots of **good vibes**
    I hope that you reach your destination and that all of this will pay off!

  5. thecrazycatwoman
    25/08/2010 at 6:13 pm

    I think the not knowing the destination is by far the hardest part of this whole process. Good luck for this cycle. You may not always feel strong but you are a strong, strong woman.

  6. 25/08/2010 at 7:56 pm

    good luck disa its exciting times ahead ! i’m sure your gps would tell you its “just around the corner” i’m going to be thinking of you xxx

  7. 26/08/2010 at 12:16 am

    I love the image of wanting to know how many steps are ahead… I can relate. Every time I am on a hike I think of the same images.

    I want to come hike with you down in Tasmania!

    Good luck with trigger! Come on eggies!

  8. 26/08/2010 at 6:01 am

    Good luck with this cycle, I hope you get your miracle and don’t even need to think about coping with a BFN! All the best for a successful cycle!


  9. 26/08/2010 at 6:31 am

    good luck! no matter how many times my husband stuck me with those needles, i never really got used to it.

    happy iclw!
    tina #172

  10. 26/08/2010 at 1:50 pm

    Hoping and praying the end of this cycle is FABULOUS news.

    BTW, I looked at your pics in the last post and you are lovely.

    #28 ICLW

  11. 26/08/2010 at 6:25 pm

    Yay, how wonderful to only have the one injection tonight!! I am so sorry you are feeling so down. Still, this cycle sounds promising so fingers crossed!

  12. Kim
    27/08/2010 at 8:13 pm

    Hello from a fellow Australian. I have never been to Tasmania, but have always wanted to and hope to get there in the next few years. It’s just beautiful (but I know you already know that!).

    Best of luck for your egg pick up this week, I will be following to see how you go. Oh and happy ICLW!

  13. 28/08/2010 at 3:41 am

    stopping by from ICLW and wishing you lots of luck.

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