Home > Stim Cycle #14 > Grief Pounces

Grief Pounces

It happened last night: the great puma of grief pounced on me in the night.  I’m surprised anyone can recognise me today; I feel like I’ve been mauled.  I don’t know if it’s the Pregnyl leaving my system enough that the full glory of Crinone side effects can hit me or what, but much more crying happened on my side of the bed last night than sleeping.

I hadn’t realised how much I was hoping this cycle would work until I felt the hope leave me last night.  You’d think I’d learn.  I’ve been through 14 ovum pick ups and no live births.  Who am I kidding?

Categories: Stim Cycle #14
  1. 10/09/2010 at 10:24 am

    Oh honey, I do know that feeling. I’m so sorry, it’s so very difficult. Thinking of you and sending you big hugs.

  2. a
    10/09/2010 at 10:25 am

    I’m sorry your hope has left, but I’m holding out hope for you…

  3. 10/09/2010 at 3:04 pm

    If I have learned anything during this journey, it’s that I can’t predict or control the universe. We can never know anything for sure, and I think it’s only human to hope, no matter how many times we’ve been proven wrong before. I think that there are a lot of us hoping *for* you … I have to believe that counts for something. I wish I could send you some comfort … I’m so sorry that you’re in this place right now. *hug*

  4. thecrazycatwoman
    10/09/2010 at 5:05 pm


  5. 10/09/2010 at 8:18 pm

    It’s terrible that you’re feeling so down and I definitely blame the drugs you’re on. I think they just magnify whatever your worst possible thoughts are and definitely make you cry. I’m still holding onto hope for you though. (((HUGS)))

  6. Katie
    11/09/2010 at 6:31 am

    How I wish something I could say would five you more hope or strength or peace. I know as much as it “helps” that it doesn’t to hear us all say so, but we are all in your corner in this fight. I also like to believe that all of our hope for you counts for something and even when you’re out of hope the band of hope and well wishing spans the earth and that has to make a difference. I’ve got socks for you, though I prefer to think you’ll be using them for fun, to celebrate.

  7. 11/09/2010 at 7:30 am

    Here from Mel’s Roundup…Praying for strength, peace of mind, and success for you.

  8. CW
    11/09/2010 at 12:24 pm

    Oh honey it isn’t over yet. Your feelings mirror mine so I wont make up false promises but each day AF isn’t here it is a good day.

  9. 11/09/2010 at 10:54 pm

    i’m happy to do plenty of hoping for you disa, sending love xxx

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