Home > Stim Cycle #14 > Fear Follows Fear

Fear Follows Fear

This weekend was scary for me.  AF kept away.  I found it upsetting and terrifying.  Unfortunately I’m sure those of you who have miscarried or lost a baby understand: I was scared of not knowing how it might end.

Of course I need not have worried.  This morning at 7:15 AEST AF arrived.  TMI Alert It was fairly obvious that a clump of Crinone is what made AF take so long.  You have no idea how much I loath Crinone; it obviously has it out for me too.

So now I’m back to my normal fear: that I will never be a mother, that I am broken physically and mentally, that this new nightmare of a life will be the only one I live.  The usual stuff.

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Categories: Stim Cycle #14
  1. thecrazycatwoman
    13/09/2010 at 10:42 am

    I feel so sad for you. I’ve been thinking of you every day, and wishing for you. I understand why a BFP would be terrifying for you, but I’m sad that it’s not a BFP. It’s all so unfair. It really should have been your turn. It’s been your turn for a long time now.

    ((hugs))

  2. a
    13/09/2010 at 11:20 am

    Crap. I’m so sorry.

  3. 13/09/2010 at 12:45 pm

    I don’t know which fear is a worse place to be. After this horrendous cycle, it would have been nice to have a different set of worries and fears. Hoping that you can be kind to your body and to your spirit.

  4. 13/09/2010 at 4:00 pm

    I’m so very sorry. (Hugs)

  5. 13/09/2010 at 7:22 pm

    Oh, I am so sorry. I hope that they find an answer for you soon.

  6. Meg
    13/09/2010 at 8:40 pm

    Totally sucks. Not much more to say is there, apart from TOTALLY unfair. 😦

  7. 13/09/2010 at 8:47 pm

    oh disa i’m so sad for you right now, its just not fair, sometimes nothing is fair . sending loads of love and hugs xxx although its not enough xxx

  8. Katie
    14/09/2010 at 10:32 am

    I am sorry. I wish there was something I could say or do to help. I am so sorry disa. 😦

  9. 14/09/2010 at 6:58 pm

    Hi honey, I am soo devastated for you and sending you huge (((HUGS))). I sent you an email, hope you got it!! xx

  10. 15/09/2010 at 12:33 am

    I am so sorry that you got AF and that this cycle didn’t work for you. It’s just so unfair, and there are no good words. Hugs to you.

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