Heartbeats Are A Mood Improver
I’m such a moody girl today.
I’m having a new spout of grumpiness at my RE. Yes, I know, it’s getting boring for me too. Yesterday I received a phone call from one of the nurses at TasIVF saying the RE’d posted a script for DHEA to me as well as some websites with information about things we’d discussed. I controlled myself with the ‘things we’d discussed’ comment as well as her comment about him giving me a detailed discussion about DHEA (there was no detailed discussion about it). Anyway, whatever, I was really happy I wouldn’t have to wait until next time I saw him to nag him about DHEA again – and if there are some sites that have reliable information I’m glad to be directed there!
So I was a little confused when I arrived home and there was an envelope for me from TasIVF already. It contained a printout of one article but no DHEA script. I have no idea if they’re being posted separately or the script was just forgotten. (When I was pregnant he never did send the promised referral to my obstetrician; in fact the OB’s staff laughed when I mentioned he said he’d send it and weren’t surprised it hadn’t arrived. And when I got a copy of the referral feedback he sent to my doctor, in a postscript he diagnosed my obstetrician as having had a vasectomy. 🙂 Yes, I know it was just a silly slip up , but not impressive.) My husband and I actually had somewhere to go last night (which is strange as we have no life), so I didn’t read the article until the wee hours of this morning when I gave up on sleep. And I’m rather grumpy.
He sent one article. One article without a date and no references. Yes, it’s an article sent to me by my RE so maybe I should take some heed of it. But still. I guess he thinks I’m a Dr Google freak. Actually, I’m not at all. I’ve been hounding him with questions based upon the experiences of others I know online. Yes, I know practices differ from clinic to clinic. I know some clinics might be doing things they don’t know work but which they hope work. But he can’t think ill of me for wanting to ask questions – especially after all this time. It would be insane to keep doing things that fail and expect a different result. And in the history of everything that has been proven to work or not to work, there was a time when it was not known which category a certain theory or treatment would fall into.
The article is about implantation failure and goes through different treatments and theories. ‘Because of the desperation of couples attempting to conceive a child and the profound lack of knowledge in this complex area, many snake oil salesmen have emerged and spread their misinformation around the internet, much to the detriment of the couples trying their “magic potions”.’ I bet he thinks that’s me. I feel quite insulted. Maybe I shouldn’t take it like that, but whatever.
The article goes through a few practices and theories and says whether the author thinks they are worthwhile. The author doesn’t like any of the theories surrounding immune factors being responsible for implantation failure, for example natural killer cells. But I was interested to note that earlier in the article one thing the author did think made a difference was transferring day 5 embryos rather than a day 3 transfer. TasIVF does day 3 transfers. I think I’ve actually read this paragraph of the article posted somewhere before:
To understand this concept, consider a race in which the participants run five laps around a track. If you were to try to predict the winner of the race after the second or third lap, you might guess correctly but often you will not. Occasionally, the early leaders will tire out or some runners who may have started out slowly demonstrate a great “kick” at the end.
During IVF, evaluation of embryos works the same way. Some embryos which look great on day three stop developing or develop poorly over the next two days. Alternatively, embryos which didn’t appear to be the best on day three will improve and become very high quality embryos by day five.
So the only article he points me to points out his practise isn’t the best (at least in the opinion of the author of this article). Did he just do a google search for an article that would support his feelings about implantation failure and natural killer cells? The printout that was posted to me has no references and isn’t dated. When I found it online, it was last updated 19 April 2008. So nothing else has been learned about any of these issues in almost 2 1/2 half year? If you’re interested in reading the article it’s at http://www.ivf1.com/ivf-implantation-failure/ . If for some reason the direct link doesn’t work for you, try searching on the site for ‘IVF Implantation Failure’ (which is the title of the article). It has more to say on these things than I’ve summarised of course, but I’m just grumpy.
So I woke up grumpy. When I got online I read some heart wrenching posts and emails and spent most of the morning crying or in meetings holding back tears. Who says you can’t be hormonal during an FET cycle? And in the back of my mind I knew a friend was having her early pregnancy scan this morning. Nerve wracking stuff. I was so excited for her but so nervous as well. As soon as I got back to my desk I checked my email and my phone.
A heartbeat! My dear Anxious Mummy heard a heartbeat! And saw a sac measuring 7w4d! Interuterine and not in any naughty tubes! Isn’t life great sometimes?
PS: I promise not to inflict any violence upon our RE before Tuesday. 😉