Home > Musings > It Never Gets to My Husband

It Never Gets to My Husband

My husband isn’t the typical Australian male.  You’ll never see footie being played on our tele, my husband has no strong views on Ford or Holden, he doesn’t like BBQ sauce on his egg and bacon roll, and he doesn’t own any Chesty Bonds.  And this will REALLY shock you: he makes me – a female – do the BBQing.  I know, if he hadn’t been born here I’m sure they’d revoke his citizenship if the authorities ever found out.  However he’s the typical homo australis in one way: he never shows an emotion or shares a feeling.

He’s told me a few times about a guy in his office.  This guy says he and his wife weren’t going to have any children because the environmental impact is too great; there are already too many people.  But they decided to have just one.  (When my husband told me this he said he bets they change their mind after they meet their bub.)  His wife is due soon, and the other day he mentioned they were trying to decide upon a surname for their child.  No, they are not trying to decide if the child will have his surname, her surname, or a hyphenated surname – they’re ‘making up’ an entirely new surname.  So the child is not tied down by the confines of history.  (Yeah – get to the loo quickly and take care of that vomit.  I’ll wait here for you.)

Tomorrow is my husband’s birthday as well as being Melbourne Cup day, so my husband asked me to do a lot of cooking.  I know the guy mentioned above is a vegan, so I asked what my husband what he would like me to make.  He said my orange-poppyseed cake, chocolate mouse, and salmon pate.  I pointed out none of those are vegan and asked what else should I make?  And my husband said ‘Steak’.

Oops.  My husband almost showed an emotion; obviously this guy has gotten to him!

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Categories: Musings
  1. 01/11/2010 at 5:00 pm

    ROFLMAO – sounds good to me – sometimes it feels so damn good to be NASTY, even if it’s only your wife who hears it!!

  2. bir
    01/11/2010 at 6:54 pm

    Ha! They’re a funny breed aren’t they, our husbands!!
    I thought I was the only one being eaten up by everyone else’s babies over the past two years… until my hub’s cousin had a baby boy a couple of months ago. I did the right thing (because all my ‘nastiness’ over the past couple of years has actually helped me to ‘move on’ and ‘hide’ the envy I guess) and bought a cute little stuffed elephant and a card for them. Hub banned me from sending the cute toy..! Then I actually heard him be “nasty” when we had to attend a family function recently that meant we would be in the same room and would have to hear everyone (including his parents) gooing over the new.baby.boy. Remembering that the last baby born into his family was our baby boy who passed away. I actually felt sorry for poor hub. I’ve dealt with these feelings for two years. Apparently it only really hit him when it was his people instead of mine. Hmmm.

    Hugs gal 🙂

  3. 01/11/2010 at 7:45 pm

    OMG, you do the BBQ’ing? How do you manage LOL!! Yeah, those people from hubby’s work don’t sound like my cup of tea. I have to agree with the ’emotion’ he’s been showing. Definitely vomit worthy about the surname!

  4. 01/11/2010 at 9:08 pm

    BWAH HA HA HA, I loves me an egg roll with barbecue sauce. You can keep the bacon though 🙂 Too funny, but so true. That is definitely vomit worthy about the names. I kept my name when we got married, but we definitely plan to give the (ahem, theoretical) kidlets the husband’s surname. Anyways, thanks for a much need laugh 🙂

    PS My hubs loves my orange poppyseed cake too. Want to come over?

  5. a
    02/11/2010 at 12:00 am

    That’s awesome. (Just because they never show emotions doesn’t mean they don’t feel them – I can verify this through experience, and you’re lucky it’s just showing up through passive aggressive menu planning.)

    I hope the guy and his wife enjoy being questioned about their relationship to their child every time the child attends a new school. And I can’t wait until he complains about it, and gets slapped down with a safety lecture regarding disgruntled non-custodial parents and child predators. Although, I suspect they will limit themselves to the one child and it will be a horribly over-indulged bully.

  6. 02/11/2010 at 2:07 am

    That’s great! I agree with your husband and you should let them eat steak…maybe it’ll help them think of that new surname (I just vomited again a little).

  7. 02/11/2010 at 3:11 am

    Ha! Love it! I think you should make steak and over-cooked boiled vegetables. 😉

  8. 02/11/2010 at 4:52 am

    HA ha. That’s funny! I do think I am going to vomit now, by the way!

  9. 02/11/2010 at 8:45 am

    I seem to have achieved getting all my readers to vomit; my work here is done! 😉

  10. thecrazycatwoman
    02/11/2010 at 8:55 am

    Hilarious! Happy birthday to your hubby! (or is “happy” an emotion?)

  11. cw
    02/11/2010 at 9:15 am

    Oh that was gold! What a tosser – I can’t STAND people like that. You should wear the meat dress of Lady Gaga’s to the next function…… Happy Cup Day!! I love Melbourne Cup but this year just going to Mum & Dad’s for a bbq. I have got Shocking in the sweeps at work but I went to school with one of the jockeys so I always have a sneaky bet on him. He is riding Monaco Consul this year! New surname! bah bah bah why does these people get to procreate?

  12. 03/11/2010 at 6:40 pm

    Ah! Bless hubby! That single, brief comment speaks volumes as to the ttc business you have both endured and much about his restraint. Brilliant!

    This is probably not the time to reveal that I have had those thoughts (briefly) ‘what surname should baby have?’ I am not married to my non-existant baby’s prospective father. I detest hyphenated names. My surname is bland, and his family name has certain unpleasant associations – plus it is not his actual birth name…..ahhh surnaming! It is one of those idle baby thoughts that the fertile can bask in. I go as far as using this surname ‘issue’ sometimes as a means to make me feel a bit better about there being no baby. Like a surname would really be an issue after all of this! LOL!

    With any luck this couple will name their child ‘jackson’ spelt with two ‘x’s’ and a ‘y’ or Nevaeh (‘Heaven’ backwards) and news of their family will always provide you with a little amusement…..afterall there has gotta be a ‘pay off’ somewhere….doesn’t there….please tell me there is!?

    Sending your donor lots of eggy vibes!

    Stay strong Tas!

    LS x

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