Home > Weekly Updates > 17: 42.5% of 40

17: 42.5% of 40

17 weeks.  You can feel the change in the air, can’t you?  That’s right – Al Yankovic is in Australia.  Is it wrong that I’m more excited about seeing him on the 25th than I am about the 20 week anomoly scan on the 28th?

So I’ve made it to 17 weeks after being so worried about the 16th week.  I was hoping I’d feel relieved and fantastic, however I’m just sort of feeling like this whole thing is taking forever.  It’s as though time slowed down in the 2WW and just hasn’t re-started it again.  I was reading another post by someone at the same stage as me who is feeling freed and like she has her life back; after all the IF she doesn’t have to worry.  She feels victorious.  I don’t feel like that at all.  Strangely enough I feel sort of jealous when I read about someone starting injections and having ovary scans.  It’s such an active thing to be doing.

Gestating is not active.  Gestating is just sort of existing and trusting your body is doing what it should.  As twisted as it might seem, I almost miss the struggle – miss feeling like an appointment with my RE was doing battle.  Yes – I realise that is just plain wrong.  I hated it then, and if I could just get my brain around it I’d realise that all being well I’m on my way to having what I have been fighting for for years.  I should look at this time like a goal obtained and be basking in victory, but instead I can’t wrap my head around it.  Maybe I’ve just re-wired my brain for fighting and need to try to do the same for relaxing!

As bad as my brain is at all of this, at least my body appears to be doing what it should.  I haven’t had bleeding for weeks (although I still check, of course).  I’m still having trouble sleeping, but I’ve been forcing myself to get more exercise in.  I love bushwalking, but I’m so tired all the time it’s difficult just to get started.  I’m wearing only maternity trousers and jeans now; I’ve found if I cut the waist elastic in my trakkies and pjs I can still be comfy in my old ones.

I guess the biggest change in the last week is that when I’m still sometimes I feel like I have little champagne bubbles in my abdomen.  For a few weeks now I’ve been able to feel my pulse if I’m on my side (probably not something women who aren’t experienced abdomen-twinge-overanalysers would ever notice), however this is different.  I think it’s Sparky.  Again, I feel like this should be a happy and exciting time.  When I told my husband I thought he was going to cry with excitement.  But it scares me; how much worse would it be if something went wrong now?

What I am taking:

  • Blackmores Pregnancy & Breast-Feeding Gold 2 x daily
  • Low dose aspirin daily

Upcoming milestones (I’ve added some public holidays, especially since there was a huge gap of nothing between March and July):

  • 14 March: 8 Hours Day
  • 24 March:  physio session (me); father’s session (the husband)
  • 25 March:  Sparky has 2nd row centre seats for THE AWESOME Weird Al Yankovic!
  • 28 March:  20 week ultrasound (2 days before I’m actually 20 weeks)
  • 31 March:  OB visit
  • 22 – 26 April: Easter/Anzac Day long weekend
  • 13 June:  Queen’s Birthday
  • 16 July:  Antenatal class
  • 19 July:  Doctor’s session
  • 17 August: 40 weeks
Categories: Weekly Updates
  1. 09/03/2011 at 2:27 pm

    For being in totally different parts of the world you & I sure think alike a lot of the time!!! I completely feel your last sentence. I was just telling my OB today that the farther along I get the more terrified I feel, the more there is to lose. It’s awful we can’t really be happy and excited when we should because were too afraid.
    Hope you have a fantastic time at the concert:)

  2. a
    09/03/2011 at 2:28 pm

    I did not realize that you were due the day before my sister’s/nephew’s birthday – I think Sparky will hold out that long. 8-18 is a good day to be born.

  3. The Crazy Cat Woman
    09/03/2011 at 2:34 pm

    Glad to hear everything is going as it should, but sorry to hear about time still going so slowly. I think I know a cure for your envy of women who are injecting etc: just call in at the clinic. I had to go there the other day and it made me feel sick being anywhere near the building. I hope my pregnancy works out because I don’t think I could ever go back there again – there’ll be no second child for me! If you ever experience that envy again, just pop in there – it’ll work, you’ll see!

    Happy long weekend. 🙂

  4. 09/03/2011 at 2:46 pm

    Yes, time certainly is dragging by! But how exciting that are able to feel Sparky kicking around a little bit!

  5. Anxiousmummy
    09/03/2011 at 2:55 pm

    It really does feel like it takes forever. I find blogging helps, as does walking. Great work getting back into it! Al is not far away now, yay! Take care, love xxoo

  6. 09/03/2011 at 3:00 pm

    I can see how things are moving slowly, and it could be kind of maddening. Hope weird al takes it all away!

  7. 09/03/2011 at 4:10 pm

    Hey, you are very close to feeling serious movement, and then you will feel like something is happening. Not just like waiting. It will be more fun in one or two weeks, you’ll see.

  8. 09/03/2011 at 4:19 pm

    I totally hear ya. I still don’t feel “relieved” and my kid is now 18m old. Though I didn’t find this wonderful community when I was PG. So take this advice from me – enjoy it and let me celebrate with you. When I was 20 weeks I went and saw Chicago at Star City Casino. I was so excited like a little child.

  9. 10/03/2011 at 1:24 am

    I think you’re totally normal. At some point, the joys will be joyful, even if the fear of loss underlies them … in the meantime, enjoy Weird Al. 🙂

  10. Still A Guest Room
    10/03/2011 at 11:12 am

    I totally understand what you mean about feeling like you aren’t really doing anything right now. I only have two more weekly appointments, then it’s to normal world. I know that will feel so strange. Hoping it keeps getting more and more real for you!

  11. 10/03/2011 at 1:07 pm

    i have been waiting on 17 weeks for you!! because your list of dates said how scared you were of 16…i am so excited! I started feeling those little movements with Ian at around 17 weeks too…it is so amazing!

  12. 11/03/2011 at 6:43 am

    Congrats at being 17 weeks! You especially have been through such a long tough roller coaster to get to this point so I only think it’s natural that you have these ongoing worries. Try not to pressure yourself to not worry. Hopefully these coming weeks will give you some more energy and ease away some of your worries.

  13. 12/03/2011 at 3:46 am

    You’re feeling Sparky wiggle inside. Fear and uncertainty is normal after everything you’ve gone through. I didn’t feel pregnant until after my 20 week scan. I hope you feel the same.

  14. Natalie
    18/03/2011 at 7:50 am

    I completely understand how you feel about not feeling excited or relieved. I am now 12 weeks pregnant after 4 miscarriages. All of my problems before have occurred much earlier than 12 weeks, but I can’t seem to relax. Everyone seems to think that the danger has passed and that this one is going well, but all I keep worrying is what if something goes wrong now. I can’t do all this again. I’m glad you’ve reached 17 weeks. Have fun at your concert.

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