Home > Ovum Donor Pregnancy > Remarkably Calm; All Is Well

Remarkably Calm; All Is Well

This weekend – Friday night and all day Saturday – was a taketina workshop I was looking forward to.  The Fertile One introduced me to taketina last year, and I find it exceptionally useful for taking me away from what is stressing me, helping me be in the moment, and losing myself in the complexity of music and movement.

We had a great Friday night and morning session on Saturday.  We broke for lunch and I headed to the loo as my husband and dog were walking to where I was so were could lunch together and I didn’t want to be stuck searching for a loo – or having to use a public toilet.  But I didn’t need to wait for my neurotic loo roll checking; there was blood all over my undies.

I didn’t know what to say to the session leader; I didn’t want to frame words for what was wrong.  I pretended all was well and headed out the door.  I found my husband and The Fertile One chatting and my dog leaping in pleasure at seeing me.  I don’t remember how I told them what was wrong. Somehow I did and we started straight off to the hospital.  My husband parked and started walking in the direction of emergency; somehow I decided going to the maternity ward was better.  I couldn’t face going where I’d gone when Blobby died, so even my fear of the maternity ward seemed better.  My mind was strangely calm but I obviously didn’t trust it; I remembered the ward was on level 3 but still needed to ask before getting into the lift.

I remember not knowing what to say when I got there and hoping my husband would say something, but he didn’t so I said something that had the nurse lead me to a delivery suite immediately.  I gave a urine sample; I looked out the windows at the great views of Mt Wellington.  I got onto the bed in the middle of the room and had monitors strapped around my middle.  I didn’t shed a single tear; I was numb.

One of the monitors was for Sparky’s heart rate.  After a minute or two the nurse found his heart and was reading out numbers in a reassuring manner.  It was more reassuring when I’d asked for and received advice on what the numbers should be.  She gave me a range and said if he was really fit and well the numbers would go up and down a lot.  They did – and Sparky moved constantly, causing blips and bumps I could feel and hear.

His movement and my anterior placenta meant the heart rate monitor couldn’t just be strapped on and left, so I took control while the nurse tried to find my records and contact the on call obsetrician for Warren’s practice.  My husband kept asking questions I couldn’t answer – like whether to drive our dog home and pick up the notes my obsetrician updates each visit and that I’m supposed to bring to hospital with me – I just concentrated on keeping the thingo picking up Sparky’s heart beat. 

At one point some man came in,glanced at the print-out, told me bub was looking healthy and strong, and introduced himself as covering for Frank.  Somehow I got across that I had no idea who Frank was and he left.  I concentrated on Sparky’s heart beat; it was like a video game with too much at stake to lose.  The nurse came in periodically to check on us and ask for more details that might help them find my file (bizarre as there is definitely only one person with my name).  My eyes spent their time taking in the room – the blanket warmer and mini fridge built into the wall opposite me,the decor, the bub things.

After about an hour of observations the nurse showed me the printout and explained the wildly wiggling line was a healthy Sparky and the flat line at the bottom meant I’d had no contractions.  I’d had no more bleeding since the initial one.  (Here’s the comment I’m really proud of.)  My heart rate was at the high end of normal, which I explained was normal for me.  (But in a delivery suite! On monitors!  After seeing blood!)  The on call obsetrician (Lisa) said I could go home but take things easy.  If anything worried me I was to call the ward and they’d probably have me come back to be checked on, but all seemed well.

So Sparky and I entered hospital and made it out alive and still ‘as one’.  I spent the rest of the afternoon and evening on the couch; Sparky decided to be exceptionally active and wiggle and kick constantly.  (Yes, the neurotic part of me almost called the maternity ward to ask if being too active was a problem, but I managed to resist.)

But I’ve been remarkably calm.  I did have a bit of a crying fit about an hour ago, so I decided to write this post and get this out of my head – try to give it a space to be where I don’t have to pick it up and look at it from different angles.  Maybe I’ll do that later, but not now.  My dog and husband are snoring.  My alarum is set for 3 hours time so I can get my dog ready as The Fertile One offered to pick her up and take her to the beach.  And Sparky is still wiggling.  The plan for today is to stay on the couch.  My next obsetrician appointment is Monday afternoon, so I have plenty of time to fit my worrying in tomorrow morning.

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Categories: Ovum Donor Pregnancy
  1. a
    19/06/2011 at 7:47 am

    Ack! How frightening! Take it easy – and I’m glad that you’re remaining calm. Monday can’t come soon enough. Thinking of you…

  2. 19/06/2011 at 12:25 pm

    That would have been really scary. I’m so glad all is well. Did they say why there was a bleed? Rest well, thinking of you.

  3. 19/06/2011 at 1:10 pm

    I’m so glad that everything is OK … sending all of my good thoughts to be with you right now. I wish they’d given you more information about why this could have happened … please keep us posted. *hug*

  4. Natalie
    19/06/2011 at 3:56 pm

    I’m glad you’re okay. Just stay on that couch as long as you want. I know I would! How scared you must have been, but you did the right things and seemed to handle it really well. Good luck in the next few days, I’m sure they will be stressful for you, but he is still there and doing well and that is all you can ask for at this point. Stay strong, you’re almost to the finish line.

  5. 20/06/2011 at 6:44 am

    So glad that Sparky is looking well! It would be nice to have some explanation for the bleed – hopefully one that’s no big deal – so you can rest easy. Hope tomorrow’s appointment is reassuring!

  6. Flowergirl
    20/06/2011 at 6:49 am

    oh my gosh, what a fright. glad that you have gotten the ok. take care and best wishes.

  7. 20/06/2011 at 9:23 am

    How terrifying!!! So glad to hear you & baby are okay! Keep us updated and definitely take it easy!

  8. 25/06/2011 at 1:19 am

    Oh crap – not sure how I would cope with that kind of scare!! But very glad to hear all is well.

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