32: 80% of 40
32 weeks. 8 weeks to EDD. 4 weeks to maternity leave.
Last night was the longest night of the year, so that means our days are finally getting longer! With sunrise at 7:45 and sunset at 16:45 (but with mountains to our west making it seems earlier), I could really use some more daylight!!
The daylight for me this week has been surviving scary times on monitors. I almost feel bad being OK now as another ivf & loss survivor/donor-assisted bloggie friend who has a little boy at the same gestational age as Sparky isn’t doing so well. She’s helped me feel sane when my thoughts are so different from what I think a normal woman would be at each stage of Sparky’s existence because she seems to be feeling the same things; I wish she wasn’t going through a scare bigger than mine. Why can’t karma actually work the way it’s supposed to?
I’ve been trying to find positives from what I went through over the weekend.
- Although it’s still a freaky place, I’m not as knee-shakingly terrified of the maternity ward as I was. The nurses listened to me, they were concerned about Sparky and I, and they made sure I know I can always go there for help.
- I’ve been able to talk to my husband about how I respond to stress so he understands that simple but unimportant questions might baffle me completely. If I pause or say a confused ‘I don’t know’ he now knows that means I can’t grasp or care about the question and he should just decide.
- I’ve made certain my husband knows where my hospital bag is and that in its front pocket there’s a note of other things to grab.
- Our obstetrician updates a sheet for us at each visit with all my test results, blood pressure, etc; now we photocopy it immediately after the visit so we have one copy at home and one in the car, just in case (it was at home Saturday).
I also realise I actually have to start dealing with Sparky objects in my house. I feel I need to ensure we’ll soon have the basics for him, just in case. I have to wash some clothes (my husband wouldn’t think to wash anything – he’d just bring it to hospital :-P). I have to make my husband decide upon a cot (he fell in love with one he was going to order from the mainland, but they don’t have the colour he wanted in Australia; we’re going to get one locally this weekend!). I have to make sure he helps me wash the walls and windows in Sparky’s room (again – not something he’d think of in a million years). But he’s still nesting in his way; his latest purchase is a new vacuum cleaner.
Sparky’s being a good boy though. He MOVES. Lots. Sometimes it’s startling when I get such a strong wiggle or kick suddenly. He doesn’t let me slouch; if I do he puts pressure on my right ribs. But I like the movement, even if it wakes me up. At this point I’d rather he just stay inside forever. He’s easy to feed and keep warm now. I’m beginning to realise I’m totally fearless with giving myself injections but am terrified by the idea of having a little wiggler on the outside. I know nothing about them. On the other hand I already walk like a penguin; I can’t imagine what I’ll be like in a few weeks.
On the food front, I just want to live on dairy products. A glass of chocolate milk with a scoop of vanilla ice cream seems like a perfectly reasonable meal to me at any time of day; I’m trying to restrain myself.
What I am taking:
- Blackmores Pregnancy & Breast-Feeding Gold 2 x daily
- Low dose aspirin daily (OB said I’ll stop taking it sometime in the 3rd trimester)
- Vitamin D
- 6 July: 34 weeks (the earliest I can give birth at my preferred hospital; I thought I was told 32 weeks when I registered, but I read something saying it was 34 weeks so have changed it)
- 8 July: Next OB appointment
- 16 July: Antenatal class
- 19 July: Doctor’s session
- 20 July: 36 weeks; last day at work! (20 working days left)
- 17 August: 40 weeks