Home > OB Visits, Ovum Donor Pregnancy > It’s All Getting Closer

It’s All Getting Closer

Friday I had another OB visit.  Sparky was fine.  My blood pressure wasn’t up any higher – still it’s ‘normal’ high.  So he still isn’t prescribing anything for it.  However he said he’s not going to let Sparky go over his due date, which I must say stunned me.  Because he was telling me this on the 15th of July, and Sparky’s due the 17th of August.  Today is the 18th, so now that means Sparky will be born in less than a month.  That’s freaky.

He also told me that having a horrible lingering cold like I’ve been having is normal in when you’re up the duff.  So I’m trying to love my cold as another ‘normal’ rite of passage.  (Yeah, not really working.  Last night not only did my husband sleep upstairs, but my dog Lottie – who I was letting sleep with me on the bed – actually LEFT ME and went to sleep in the living room!  Apparently my cough was disturbing her beauty sleep.)

Our antenatal class was Saturday.  It felt strange to be going; it was been so far in the future for so long that it seemed unimaginable that it was happening.  The strange thing about me is I’m not that worried about the birth.  I’m worried about Sparky dying, I’m terrified I won’t know what to do with him is he lives – but birth?  Whatever.  I went through a birth completely alone; this time there will be experienced people with me helping out.  And the birth is one day; Sparky living or dying is permanent.

The main concerns on my mind going into it were knowing what I had to take to hospital and desperately wanting to know any instructions on how to take care of Sparky if he’s coming home with me.  And I was reassured on both counts.  We were given a list of things to bring and things they provide; except for clothes for Sparky to come home in, my mobile phone charger, and some daytime clothes I’m already packed.  They provide baby clothes and wraps for while we’re in hospital. (You can use your own if you’d prefer, but I figure if we don’t have to worry about it and have less laundry to do then that’s a good thing.)  And during our stay there will be info sessions held, DVDs we can watch in our room, midwives to ask questions to, etc so I’m not worried about getting info for how to take care of Sparky – I feel comfortable there will be plenty of support.

As the midwife was going through the signs for the different stages of labour, I was quietly freaking out a bit.  It was giving me flashbacks to being in labour with Blobby.  I can’t believe that I had no idea what was happening and that when I described what was going on no one else told me either!  I’m a bit worried how that will effect me when Sparky comes, but I have to think of it as something to be aware of and try not to worry about now.  What will be will be.

The other down side was the room we were in was SUPER HEATED, and the midwife had no control over the temperature.  As I’m already not feeling well it made me feel wretched.  I actually looked forward to leaving the room to go into the hospital as we walked outside in the cold.  MUCH better!  But I felt quite ill by the end.

There was A LOT on breastfeeding, but I really don’t think any of it makes much sense to hear unless you have an actual bub at your breast.  And we even saw two different videos which, if you were paying attention and weren’t asleep, gave some conflicting information.  I guess that just prepares you for getting conflicting info from different lactation consultants.

There was a birth video too – and it was pretty hilarious.  It seemed to be more about fitting the woman’s movement to the soundtrack than actually showing much about birth.  There was much laughter in the room and no one grossed out.
There weren’t any breathing exercises, getting on the floor, etc.  Having said that, we did get enough information I can imagine the labour and can imagine some of the things I can do to try coping.  She told us some of the things they will ask us at different stages, so I feel prepared to answer those questions.  She went over the non-medicated part of pain relief extensively and medicated pain relief briefly, but we have another session with an anaesthetist on Tuesday night which will go into the hard stuff.

They don’t seem to encourage ‘birth plans’ per se.  She said they found that they can give women an expectation that that is how their birth will happen, and if something goes wrong and it doesn’t happen ‘according to plan’ it can be upsetting.  However the session made me think I might write up a small something for the midwife.  If I’m in pain, I’m not the best communicator.  Maybe a little about my history – especially as I’m a little worried about flashbacks to Blobby’s birth – and a little about my preferences.  But with the idea that nothing is set in stone; I have preferences but have an open mind to changing these without feeling like I’m disappointing myself or other people.

I guess the main thing I took away from the antenatal class is they don’t expect me to know everything; they expect me to ask questions and need their help to make decisions.  They told us signs of labour to look out for but said when we phone them they’ll help us evaluate when to come to hospital – and if we’re worried we can come in before we medically need to if we mentally need to.  I don’t feel like I have to memorise everything about the birth; I’ll have one midwife assigned to me one-on-one to help me work through it.  And I don’t have to know everything about what to do with Sparky; the time in hospital will be as much about learning as about recovery.  So suddenly, I’m good to go.  It feels so much closer than it did a few days ago.

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  1. 18/07/2011 at 4:18 pm

    This is so exciting. I can’t wait to “meet” Sparky 🙂

  2. The Crazy Cat Woman
    19/07/2011 at 10:34 am

    Wow, it is getting SO close! It must feel surreal. I totally understand your fear of something happening to Sparky being much greater than any fear of the birth process. I feel the same (perhaps this will change as my due date gets closer though! I don’t know).

    I will be looking forward to your exciting news. 🙂

  3. 19/07/2011 at 12:59 pm

    SO exciting!! I remember leaving the hospital with a tiny baby in a car seat thinking, “really? They’re letting us LEAVE?” So much of the learning — both in labor and in parenting — is on the job training … as many books as you read, there’s always another one that will tell you something different. Take a deep breath. And keep breathing. It’s the best, and most universally applicable, advice I’ve gotten. 🙂

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