Home > Uncategorized > Sorry For the Silence!

Sorry For the Silence!

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We’re home now! I’ll obviously expand more later, but in brief it was a fairly easy labour.  Vaginal delivery.  What hasn’t been so easy is breastfeeding; there have been many tears.

he was slightly jaundiced and sleepy, so my problems started there.  He doesn’t doesn’t wake for feeds then doesn’t open his mouth widely, so getting a good latch is hard.  And often when he does he falls asleep fairly quickly.  I started the strategy of putting him onto the breast,then pumping to ‘top him up’.  I’m still doing this at home but am having a hard time still with the breast.  I’m worried this combination approach is making him lazy – the bottle nipple easier than mine to latch onto and suckle from – and it will be impossible to go back. (?)  So I’ll have the worst of both worlds – endless pumping plus the hassles of bottles and storage, etc. 

I need time to figure this out, but there’s so much going on it’s becoming harder and harder.  Each day is such a huge percentage of his life, I’m really worried I’ve gone past the point where I can fix this.  Sorry – I was just going to quickly say I hadn’t falling off the end of the world,but instead had a breastfeeding tirade.

Sparky is precious.  I recognise things he does with his hands as things he did on the inside.  But now he also makes squeaks and gurgles.  And looks me in the eye.  I love my son completely.

More later – I have friends staying with me so haven’t been near a computer other than my phone.  Until then. . .

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Categories: Uncategorized
  1. Chon
    12/08/2011 at 10:03 pm

    Omg he is adorable!! Congratulations!!!!!

  2. a
    12/08/2011 at 10:37 pm

    He’s so beautiful!

    I don’t know if you’re looking for tips, but I have a couple (feel free to ignore). Note: my girl, surprisingly, didn’t have jaundice (all of her cousins on my husband’s side did). First, if you have to give him a bottle…let daddy do it. That way, he can associate easy living with dad, and work with mom, and it may combat the laziness. Second, the LC told me (and I was horrified, but it worked) to get a cold washcloth and wipe her head with it to wake her up when she fell asleep while eating. The rationale is that they fall asleep because they’re weak and they’re weak because they’re not eating enough, so they must be woken up to eat, however it gets done. Tickles, stripping down, cold washcloth. Finally, making this as easy and stress-free as possible is your most important job right now. Focus on that and put everything else aside. Visitors can wait. Housework can wait. Everything can wait until you are comfortable with whatever feeding choice you eventually choose. And if breastfeeding doesn’t work, don’t beat yourself up. As long as he gets fed, however that happens – that’s what’s important.

    • 17/08/2011 at 6:15 pm

      Thank you for the cold washcloth advice – I’ll give it a try! My husband often does give him the bottle, until I crack because I haven’t had a quality hold of my son being sweet. The LC also told me to go back to ‘first principles’, i.e. do some skin to skin with him, take a relaxing bath with him. I don’t do it enough but am trying to! My husband doesn’t go back to work for several weeks, so he’s keeping the house under control and encouraging me and my main focus is keeping our boy fed. I’ve had some wins – we went to see the lactation consulatant the other day, and of course after I’d told her all my woes and had a cry about how it had been days since he’d done anything but howl at my breast he went right on like he’s a professional!! She laughed and said that often happens. Sigh. But it encouraged me to keep going – he can do it, but it’s not going to happen quickly. So I offer the breast at each feed. Sometimes he’ll suckle – you never know when because he’ll be howling like a demon at it and then suddenly latch. The most he’s ever suckled is 20 minutes. I always offer pumped breast milk to top him up – I want him to put on weight and get stronger so he can do this!

  3. 12/08/2011 at 11:22 pm

    Gorgeous, adorable, beautiful. He is just precious. Congratulation! I hope you work out the breastfeeding issue. It took me 3 weeks of pumping and everything including the kitchen sink to try and do it but milk never came in and C just didn’t latch on. You can only do your best but don’t beat yourself over it. Hugs and kisses for you both xox.

  4. 12/08/2011 at 11:23 pm

    I must have missed your last post! Congrats!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Welcome little guy. What a cutie.

  5. 12/08/2011 at 11:39 pm

    He’s gorgeous.

    Unsolicited advice for the nursing. Have you considered topping him up with breastmilk in a supplemental nursing system instead of a bottle?

    http://www.kellymom.com/bf/supply/adoptivebf.html#supplementer

  6. 13/08/2011 at 1:41 am

    “looks me in the eye” – my heart melted reading this line!!!
    he’s ADORABLE!

  7. 13/08/2011 at 1:44 am

    Awe, he is so beautiful!!! He has that look of complete peace on his face. So incredibly happy for you my friend! As to the breast feeding, I understand the frustration. Due to Ian’s NICU stay we’re now stuck on exclusively pumping and bottle feeding. While it’s not what I had planned I’ve had to let go of that and realize the important thing is getting him the milk itself. I really hope things work out for you.

  8. 13/08/2011 at 2:38 am

    He’s perfectly beautiful! My son had a very rough start with breastfeeding as well due to being in the NICU where he got spoiled with bottles, but we figured it out after several rough weeks and it was SO worth it. You can do this! You both just need some time to figure it out.

  9. sooz
    13/08/2011 at 10:21 am

    OMG! Beautiful! He’s perfect! Congratulations!

  10. 13/08/2011 at 12:00 pm

    So, so beautiful! Congratulations … I’m thrilled for you! 🙂

    I’m going to echo what a few above said … my son would fall asleep all the time eating … it drove me nuts. But I also played with his feet, got a cold washcloth to wake him up … and let Daddy do bottles if I could. Everything else can wait … all that you need to focus on right now is you and Sparky, feeding and sleeping. Back to basics. The rest of the world can go to hell with itself. 😉

    *hugs* … I am so happy to see these pictures!!!

  11. 13/08/2011 at 1:53 pm

    He is SO beautiful!!!!! I have a breastfeeding support group on facebook…are you on facebook too? I would love to add you! The women are SO supportive and have lots of tips!

  12. 13/08/2011 at 2:49 pm

    Wow, what a beautiful little man! I’m sorry the first little while has been so stressful.

  13. 13/08/2011 at 5:03 pm

    I’m no use to you re breastfeeding (obviously) but just wanted to say how thrilled I am for you that he’s here and healthy and beautiful! I can imagine pumping would be a pain but if that’s what you have to do I know you’ll manage. Looking forward to reading all the details when your life settles down a little bit!

  14. 14/08/2011 at 5:11 pm

    He’s adorable. Looking at those photos gives me inspiration to stick on in there … Well done. You deserve every drop of happiness these next few months give you xx

  15. Helen
    15/08/2011 at 1:57 pm

    He is beautiful, congratulations! Am just catching up while doing the 4am feed with my 3week old little IVF miracle and just wanted to say hang in there on the feeding – it felt like such a kick in the teeth that after our struggle to get her that I then had such a struggle to breastfeed… We had the lazy feeding, snacking for 5mins then sleeping for 30mins, repeat for 36 hours until she broke me 😉 she wouldn’t open her mouth wide enough so expressing & nipple shields saved my sanity! Slowly but surely we are getting there and you will too, even if it doesn’t seem like it now! I’ll be thinking of you & sparky when I’m doing the dead-of-night feeds 🙂

    • 17/08/2011 at 6:07 pm

      Since it’s a 24 hour process, we’re probably up at the same time often so I’ll be thinking of you too!! It’s SO exhausting – some feeds I can get him to breastfeed a little – the record is 20 minutes – but often he just simply refuses. And frustratingly enough you cannot predict when he’ll participate – he’ll go from howling at the demon breast to suddenly suckling!! But of course not always and with no pattern. So the breast pump is my friend. I’m still trying though!!

  16. 18/08/2011 at 7:38 pm

    just reading over this again, but i wondered if anyone has recommended a chiropractor ? it is possible that his jaw may be out from birth disa, quite common i believe. boy is he cute xxx

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