One gift infertility and loss has given me is that my son is very loved, cherished, and appreciated for just existing.  Not that I am saying fertiles don’t feel this at all, but there is a depth to I have that I honestly do not think they can have.

However that doesn’t make bad days easier.  Today is a day that is not easy or falling into place.  It is better than any day before my son’s successful birth, but there are still tears of frustration and tiredness – from me, not him.  I feel so guilty for not being so appreciative of him that I don’t get frustrated, but I think that is an unrealistic expectation.  Meltdown.

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  1. 04/05/2012 at 11:26 am

    Oh friend, I think all mothers have felt this way at some point. I know I always feel guilty during these moments too but try to remind myself that it’s normal after all we’re human just like everyone else. Be gentle to yourself & I always remind myself during the difficult times that this too shall pass.

  2. a
    04/05/2012 at 11:38 am

    Everyone gets frustrated. Frustration and love can coexist. The bad days are going to get worse once he really starts knowing his own mind and letting you know. So, just roll with it, accept that life is frustrating and that things will get both better and worse. And that, for the most part, you will find joy every day in your little guy.

  3. cw
    04/05/2012 at 11:57 am

    I think everyone has those meltdowns. It is hard work being a mum. It doesn’t make you a bad person to get frustrated at times, it makes you human. xxx

  4. 04/05/2012 at 12:18 pm

    I so feel you on this post. Don’t worry that you feel frustrated. That is a totally natural response. (((Hugs)))

  5. 04/05/2012 at 2:09 pm

    Of course that we get frustrated as well. Just as much, why not? But make sure that you get enough help, it is wonderful when you can share some of the frustration with your husband, or a baby sitter, or a friend.

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