Home > Uncategorized > I’m Still Here

I’m Still Here

I’m still here.  I still exist.  I still write posts – but in my head or just in draft form unfortunately.

I’ve been trying to put less pressure on myself – eliminating all the ‘I really need to ____’s and evaluating.  Do I need to?  The last few years have left me almost a physical and emotional wreck – almost – and I’m trying to use what energy I have to salvage myself.  I’m hoping I get to a place where I can build more things back into my life, but I’m at the eliminating phase.  A ‘life diet’ (I don’t believe in diets – just better choices – but the term seems to fit here.  Actually maybe ‘better choices’ does too.   So now the temptation is to put this post into ‘draft’ form and leave it until I can re-write it, but I’ve been doing this for too many months!  Sigh.)

It’s very hard.  I’m not good at putting myself first, but I try to tell myself that by putting myself first I’m also putting Sparky first.  I’ve worked very hard to put up the structure to the life I want – Little Spark, a lovely house, a wonderful dog, and cutting back office work to 3 days per week.  For some misguided reason I thought I’d have more time for blogging when I went part time, but I actually have less.  Being at home is certainly work too, and not work you can put aside for a few minutes to catch up on a blog or write a post.  So I’m slowly learning to prioritise the things and stop putting so much pressure on myself.  However it also means I’m not doing some things I love. 

I love and miss many of the people I’ve met here.  Sometimes I visit your blogs but just lurk – it’s been so long since we’ve seen each other and you’ve no doubt forgotten me, so it feels impertinent to drop in on the conversation.

But I’m still here.

Categories: Uncategorized
  1. a
    08/01/2014 at 9:01 am

    Good to hear from you. 🙂

  2. Lucy
    08/01/2014 at 10:17 am

    Glad to see you blogging again 🙂

  3. 08/01/2014 at 1:43 pm

    Hi! I wouldn’t forget you!

  4. Mel
    08/01/2014 at 1:48 pm

    I could never forget you. I think of you every time I go geocaching.

  5. 08/01/2014 at 6:24 pm

    I still remember you. Sparky, too. I hope he’s well and that you soon get to a place where you’re able to build again. As my little one says – “Can you build it? YES you can!”

  6. 09/01/2014 at 6:05 am

    I can relate to this post! Glad to see you here and on Flickr too…

  7. 20/01/2014 at 1:06 am

    I think you should write, publish and post your thoughts.

    And I think you should lower the pressure you’re putting on yourself.
    One needs to enjoy rationally in victories, and one should not despair in loses.

    You have one big victory behind you. Don let small loses draw you despair.

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