Home > MicroBlogMonday > Avoidance

Avoidance

This post is inspired by Stirrup Queen’s MicroBlog Mondays. In fact, if it weren’t for Mel’s inspiration I’d probably be fighting silence.

I’ve not been feeling terribly well mentally for quite a while. My reserves and resilience are so low. Yesterday there was a rather upsetting incident – and KAPOW – I cannot cope. Today I find out that a childhood friend has cancer – and KAPOW – I’m spinning out.

So I’m also not dealing with things I really need to deal with. One thing that’s looming large in my mind is trying to take my son to another level of understanding of his origins. It’s a strange thing to navigate; it’s not like there are hard and fast rules. However he’s getting to the point where small observations of things could make it a discussion that happens in front of other people – for example if they discuss eye colour at day care. Anyway, that’s in the back of my mind. My husband doesn’t see it as an issue or something that should be discussed, so I’m a bit on my own.

I was asked where we went in Japan, and that’s a safer topic than my thoughts and feelings. We went to:

  • Tokyo, 1 week with a day trip to Hakone
  • Kawaguchiko (near the base of Mt Fuji in the 5 lakes area)
  • Matsumoto, with a day trip to Kamikochi. Wonderful places.
  • Kanazawa, which I LOVED. We also had a day trip to Shirakawa-go (AMAZING) and Hida Takayama.
  • Kobe (kinda boring – nice, but a big city) with a day trip to Himeji (FABULOUS)
  • Hiroshima (exceptionally nice people; lots of foreign school excursions)
  • Miyajima, which was FABULOUS. We stayed on the island for 3 nights, and there was still more to see.
  • Nagasaki, lovely town – much smaller than I thought it would be.
  • Kumamoto, which was a bigger regional city than we expected. The castle area was interesting and the CBD was alive even at night. We mainly stayed here to take a day trip to Takachiho Gorge, which was stunning but smaller expected.
  • Kurashiki, which I had randomly chosen as a place to break up our journey. It was a fabulous surprise package – we adored it.
  • Nara, which was lovely but we’d seen SO MANY shrines all over Japan that we weren’t as impressed by all of them as most of the people seemed to be. Worth going to for the antlered budda mascot.
  • Kyoto – an fun mixture of new and old. We were there a week and could easily has been there at least twice as long.
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Categories: MicroBlogMonday
  1. Rebecca
    24/11/2015 at 1:59 pm

    So sorry things have been difficult lately, hope you have some resources that could help you develop your coping mechanisms.
    Thus far we’ve gotten a book (Training Wheels) explaining donor embryo families on a kid level that we read to the kids and we try to bring up our donor family occasionally in conversation with them so it’s comfortable to talk about not necessarily because they understand yet but just so it’s always a part of their history.
    Your trip sounds amazing, loved the pics you shared from it!
    Lots of love, wishing you peace and calm

  2. 24/11/2015 at 4:38 pm

    I am so sorry you aren’t in a good place. Finding happy is hard, keeping happy even harder. Japan sounds amazing. Yes, i am a bit excited 🙂

  3. 24/11/2015 at 5:39 pm

    I am sorry that you are not in a good state of mind presently. I am sending you positive energy to overcome your current feelings. I identify with you when it comes to dealing with all of the kid’s questions which never cease and yeah many a times alone too, like being a single-parent when I am not. The other day me and my son were watching a programme on Nat Geo about the earthquake and Tsunami which hit Japan in 2011 (Japan being the common element here) and he asked me why do earthquakes occur? And guess what? The next moment I was explaining tectonic plates and their shifting to the 4.5 year old. Did he get that? I have no idea.

  4. a
    25/11/2015 at 4:16 am

    I’m sorry that things have been rough for you lately. I know you’ll persevere, but that doesn’t make life any easier NOW. You will probably need to get on the same page with your husband about your son (or rather, he should probably get on your page), but it may be a matter of you being open while he just has to go along and deal with it. That’s what ended up happening with my husband and I about the topic of death – he wanted to avoid it, and I was all about honesty. Turns out, my way was better since it was easier for my girl to deal with the death of her grandparents’ dog before she had to deal with the death of my husband’s father and then my mother. Maybe don’t worry about being on the same page and just forge ahead? 🙂

    Now I must look up all the places – I’ve never wanted to visit Japan, but now I am intrigued!

  5. Mel
    25/11/2015 at 1:17 pm

    I think you touch on something so important: when we have the emotional reserves, we can navigate even big stuff. But as soon as we’re drained, nothing is easy to deal with, even the small stuff. And the really big stuff? It drains you within moments. Sending a hug as you navigate this stuff without reserves and hope you build them back up soon.

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